 | 
01-24-2012, 08:18 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2
| | There once was a magic mirror which would kill your if you lied to it. One day a brunette was doing her makeup and said to herself "I think I'm the smartest woman ever!" She immediately dropped dead. The next day a redhead was doing her hair and said to herself "I think I'm the prettiest woman alive!" She immediately dropped dead. Finally, the following day, a blond was flossing her teeth. She stopped and said to herself "I think," and dropped dead. |  Sponsored Ads | | Member | | Join Date: LongTime Posts: 1100 | | New Sponsored Ads This message will go away once you are registered. Also, by registering, you will have access to all post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload graphics, and access other special features! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please Click Here to join our Web Hosting community today! | 
01-25-2012, 06:41 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederick1 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. | haha it's so funny...Teacher is very Big lier. | 
01-26-2012, 08:24 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2
| | A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"
"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake." | 
02-01-2012, 09:20 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2
| | Adult Joke
Gold Medalist
Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."
The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."
She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."
"How so?"
"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds." | 
02-03-2012, 09:09 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 11
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevinlouth A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000
Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000.. | It's not a joke.It's a fact haha | 
02-14-2012, 11:05 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 23
| | Hello,
Very-very wonderful and petty jokes.i like its very much.
Please update me time to time with new-new jocks...,
__________________________________________________ ____ 2001 Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van AC Compressor | 
02-14-2012, 11:40 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 923
| | <strong><a href="http://www.paydollar.com.cn/ecommerce.htm">¹ú¼Ê¿¨ÊÕµ¥</a></strong><br>
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02-24-2012, 09:50 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
| | Dear Agony Aunt
Dear Editor,
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.
My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.
Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death.
I love this girl very much and want to marry her.
My problem is this:
Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?
Sincerely,
Larry | 
02-27-2012, 10:20 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
| | Last Day on the Job
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea. | 
02-28-2012, 09:36 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
| | A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen." |  Sponsored Ads | | Member | | Join Date: LongTime Posts: 1100 | | New Sponsored Ads This message will go away once you are registered. Also, by registering, you will have access to all post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload graphics, and access other special features! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please Click Here to join our Web Hosting community today! | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
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